Official Website of Comedian Greg Behrens

"I remember my first paid gig. I ate all ten wings." 

"Always judge a band by it's covers."

"When I was in school the average salary for a college graduate was $32,000, well I must be some kind of genius, because I've already made half of that." 

"I'd love to try being a scientist. I have no interest in science, but I've always wanted to be baffled by something."

"I never offer drugs to someone with a heart arrhythmia, because I know they can't pace themselves."